bestof

If you want to read just my favorite without a lot of fluff in between, click on the links below to go to that category!

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While it’s been a few years since I’ve blogged about infertility (and then, pregnancy) I am hoping some of you visitors dropped by to read some of those old posts! I still have aspirations of someday assembling these into a book. However, in the meantime I’ve assembled a highlights reel – and removed some of the old fluff posts. In order to get to the Busted Plumbing posts… ah I’m still trying to figure that all out. But, they’re still here. Somewhere. And when I get the proper links all settled, I’ll have them posted here and on the sidebar to the left. It’ll be a piece of cake… (I tried to find a gif from the part where the sister is all doped up on pain meds and she’s trying to snap her fingers, but alas the gif-creators of the world do not value this moment as much as […]

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Well, with much ado… the most ado I’ve probably ever given a post… I feel like it’s all going to be pretty anti-climatic at this point… so lie and say it’s still a good post to protect my ego… finally, Part Three of Tucker’s birth story! If you missed any of it so far… Part One: I Don’t Barf But I Do Flip Off the Camera Part Two:  The Electric Birth-A-Loo (and then I do barf…) So, where we left off… Some doctor had just popped a smallish watermelon-sized baby out of my tummy by throwing her entire body down on my not-quite-numb-enough abdomen. And then, I’m a mom. He sure looks pissed here. Tucker James was born at 7:59 am on December 16th, weighing in at a respectable 7 lbs, 7 oz and 19 inches long.  Ten fingers, ten toes, one penis–Adam was pretty proud dad and promptly dropped […]

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GAH! I went back to work, and then all of a sudden it was Monday!  Sorry Bleeps to leave you hanging… Last week was a blur, and I just wanted Tuck-Time all weekend.  But I’m back on schedule now.  On with the birth story! For those just joining the story, I’m in the middle of doing Tucker’s birth story.  If you missed Part One, go here to check it out or just scroll down. On with the shenanigans! So where did we leave off?  I believe I had just been given my spinal block.  If your confused about the difference between a spinal block and an epidural, it’s cool.  Epidural is something they leave in your spine… it lessens the amount of pain tremendously, but from what I understand it doesn’t completely numb you (you can still, you know, push and stuff).  And since it’s left in, they can keep […]

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Hey Bleeps, as promised.  Here it finally is.  The Birth Story!  Part One.  When I started writing this post, Tucker was only two weeks old.  This week, he’ll be 12 weeks old.  I cannot believe how time has just flown by.  On top of that, tomorrow I return to work (shudder, cry, bang head against wall). I’m sure there will be a post (or 20) on that, but in the meantime… any tips for returning to work?  Suggestions? On with the birth story… The day before Tucker was born, I’d like to say I was all serene with the transition that was to come.  But let’s face it, I could barely keep my @#$(* together.  Who wouldn’t be freaked out by the prospect of being cut into and having your guts on your stomach?  And… oh yeah… giving birth to another human being?! So, how did I spend the day […]

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Howdy Bleeps, I’ve got just a short post today since we’re hosting the in-laws, who have traveled from Alaska to meet their new grandson. Today, I’d like to give you a little heads up. Well, a two-fold heads up.  To those women who are struggling with a low breastmilk supply (PCOS I hate your ass-face), there are many supplements you can take to help.  There will be another post that outlines all the germane to elaborate things I’ve done to increase my breastmilk (but if you have suggestions in addition to herbal supplements, beer, drink water, pump, and take medication I’m all ears!). But for now, I’ll give you a friendly warning on the herbal supplements… so you’re not surprised like I was. The first supplement you’re likely to hear about if you’re working on a breastmilk supply is something called Fenugreek.  Certainly not something I’ve heard about before, kind […]

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Hey Bleeps.  First off, I must again say thanks for everything.  We’ve been on quite a journey together, and I appreciate you crossing over to this new world with me.  I still can’t believe that as I write this, there’s a little man next to me crashed out in his bouncer. Apologies for the long delay in posting… I blame lack of sleep.  If you’ve been reading me for a while you know I’m prone to periods of hibernation that doesn’t just extend to blog posting. So, apologies to my real life friends too!  (I will attempt to rejoin society and, you know, return phone calls and stuff… ) And, in the same vein, many thanks to Lobster for blog-sitting for me!  Not only has Lobster taken good care of Busted, but she’s also taken good care of me and the little Tuck man.  Thanks Aunt Hanna So… here we […]

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Since I’ve “come out of the closet”… the Infertility Closet that is, I’ve had to endure less fertility advice.  You’d think it would be the opposite, but I’ve found that people are more likely to keep their mouth shut when they know you have a legit medical issue as opposed to being “too stressed out”, etc.  Years 1-3 of trying were the worst for advice, and thank god it’s dissipated because I would have picked up way more restraining orders by now (“If you tell me to just relax one more time…. I swear… I’m going to kill you and make it look like an accident!”). Oh crap, now I’m doing death threats.  The FBI is going to be all over this blog!  Quick, act casual! (Are they gone?  Ok, moving on…) Yet, just when I think I’m immune from stupid advice, here comes the fertility experts (aka the folks […]

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Why good afternoon, dear Bleep!  (Tip O’ my hat to you).  I’m dragging ass this afternoon.  I had to do smart person, legal crap all day long.  I’m saving hundreds of thousands of your taxpayer dollars, people.  And I’m presenting to City Council next week on all the smart person stuff I’ve done today.  Unfortunately I’ve used up all my smart person brain cells in the process, and unless they regenerate by next week I’m totally farged.  I will likely end up standing in front of the Council with drool hanging out the side of my mouth and mumbling something about cheese steaks.  What does it all mean to you, dear Bleep?  Basically you’re getting a half-assed post.  Just remember I’m saving you taxpayer dollars when you come after me with torches and pitchforks! Lately I’ve been playing make-believe.  Like many Infertiles, my life is on hold.  It’s like buying […]

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I would just like to announce to the world that my snail “Speedy” is a dirty little ho-bag.  I’m sorry, but it has to be said.  I brought Speedy home a few weeks ago to my little office tank to keep Frank Sinatra (the red guy) company.  Frank attacked (and maybe even ate? I’m not sure.) the last snail I got, but he seems to be getting along well enough with Speedy here.  I’m going about my business, checking in on Frank and looking around for Speedy… when lo-and-behold, what’s this I see?  A tiny little, baby snail trailing along my bamboo.  And what’s this?  TWO more, chillin’ at the bottom of the tank?  I give you a HOME, a safe place to SLIME, and how do you repay me?  By coming in all knocked up and dumping your illegitmate snail babies on my lap?? I’ve been trying for babies for FIVE […]

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