Show & Tell (From the Stirrup Queens)

Happy Friday! I’m not gonna lie Bleeps, I’m glad this week is over. I have a fun life on here, but in my hectic, busy, grown-up job its been a looooong week. I’m definitely looking forward to a little weekend fun, and there is plenty of fun to go around.

First off, I get to meet fellow blogger IRL (In Real Life) tomorrow, Niki of Nikus Road. Even though we only live about 25 minutes apart from one another, it’s taken us months to get together (I admit, due almost entirely to me and my hectic schedule).  I’m so happy to finally get to spent a little time with my fellow Infertile.  We even share the same fertility doc!

Then on Sunday Adam and I will be hitting the Heart concert with one of our bestest couple friends.  I think this is my first real nicknaming opportunity, and I’d like to seize the moment.  Let’s call them Mr. Green and his wife, Lobster (ok, I don’t confess to being a nicknaming pro, cut me some slack).  They’re like family, and I think of their kids like my nephews.  Since we’re meeting up with them this weekend, I thought it might be a good opportunity to make Lobster my “Show and Tell” this week.

Oh yeah, if you’re not familiar with the Stirrup Queen, Show and Tell is pretty much what it sounds like.  Except cooler, because we are grown-ups now.

 
Here’s Lobster and her son Tater, when he was only about a month old (he’s about four months old now).  Lobster is my show and tell because she’s the reason I started this blog.  
For years, she’s laughed at my dark sense of humor, bless her heart.  And for all these years, she’s told me I should start a blog with my dark little humor.  After the last miscarriage, I finally did.  Since day one, Lobster has been my biggest cheerleader… she jokes that she’s about half of all my site visits.  I feel very lucky to have her in my life.  [A normal person would insert a lot of mushy stuff here, but because I’m dead inside I’ll just mentally punch her in the arm and say “I love you, man”.]
So today, on this fine Friday, I thought I’d tell you a story about a trip we took a couple of years ago with Mr. Green and Lobster to Las Vegas.  This is not the same trip from my story of yesterday, of where I tell a complete stranger off for saying “seven” at the craps table.  If you missed it, check it out here (I guest posted on Masshole Mommy).  Apparently I have lots of Vegas stories.  Ah hem.  Moving on…
Almost two years ago to the day, the four of us (Mr. Green, Lobster, Adam and myself… maybe Adam needs a nickname now… I’ll have to ponder that…) took off for a long weekend to celebrate our five-year wedding anniversaries.  No we weren’t all married to each other, this isn’t Colorado City, Arizona, and I think we’d have to lose one of the guys for that to happen anyways.  However, we do joke that Lobster is Adam’s “second-wife” and Mr. Green is my “second husband”.  Our respective anniversaries are only a few weeks apart, and we figured Vegas was a great way to celebrate the “Wood” anniversary.  Oh yeah, you heard that right.  Seriously.  Five years is “Wood”.  ((Insert immature snicker here.))

Lobster and I had the grand idea that us ladies would plan one evening out for the guys, and the guys would do the same one night for us.  We fancied ourselves the most awesome wives ever, because we decided to take our hubbys to… wait for it…. a TOPLESS SHOW.  I know, right?  Talk about a walk on the wild side. 

What’s that you ask?  Was it the Crazy Horse show?  Um… no.  Nor the Rhino Club or any other strip club.  We’re classy ladies.  Of course we’d take our men to a classy show.  A show rich in tradition, history, and would even be considered an old-school Vegas institution:

 
I remember my parent’s taking us to Vegas once when I was pretty young, and even then I recall seeing the Folies show up in lights.  This is the perfect plan… Lobster and I would get a classy show with pretty outfits (from the neck up and waist down), music, and dancing.

And the guys would get boobs.  Lots of them. Dancing all around the stage for two hours.  This is the perfect night out.  Lobster and I thoroughly patted ourselves on being awesome wives, and knew our husbands would be so impressed with us taking them to a topless show. 

Well… after a truly lack-luster dinner at the MGM Buffet, we walked over to the Tropicana for our show.  It was all sorts of cliche fun, let me tell you.  I don’t think the performance hall had been modified in 40 years.  On with the show! 
….
….
….

Um.  I don’t mean to sound pervy, but here’s my impression of what it was like watching these girl run around topless:

I can’t even tell you how gross I felt looking that up.  But I have, in the two years since this night, honestly described the women as like watching 12 year old boys dance around the stage.  Seriously.  All the good boobs clearly went to another show, and all the girls who have too much respect (or actual talent) went to perform in Mamma Mia.  The Vegas leftovers were in the Folies Bergere.  The singing was horribly off-key and the premise was comical.  It sucked, all around.
All this was too bad for the boys who had lost their boobie show, but Lobster and I were dying.  We laughed, loudly and inappropriately, through the entire show.  Not only did we take our husband’s to the lamest topless show in history, but we were under the median age in the audience by about 40 to 50 years.  Talk about awkward, having to watch men your grandfather’s age looking at naked chicks. 
Most uncomfortably hilarious night ever.
I’d like to say the boys crashed and burned also with their plans the next night.  But no, they took us to a fabulous five-star restaurant off the strip that was some of the best food I’ve ever had, and then to the Bar at Times Square in New York, New York.  It’s a dueling piano bar, and we had reserved seats for the whole night.  For four hours we drank and sang along with Billy Joel and Elton John at the top of our lungs.  I’m pretty sure I started a conga line, and may or may not have done the Proud Mary dance for our entire section.  All I know is it was the most fun night I’ve had in my entire life.  I woke up the next morning still drunk as a skunk, and had to lay in the bathtub with the shower running for an hour just to sober up.  And I was hoarse for FOUR DAYS afterwards.  Most fun ever.  Well done, gentlemen.  You’ve won this round. 
So that’s our fun Vegas trip.  I’ll laugh about that night for the rest of my life.  And I can’t wait to see what fun Lobster and I can cook up for our ten year anniversaries…
So that’s my show and tell.  Make sure you head over to the Mel’s place to see all the other kids participating!

Comments

  1. haha – so did the boys complain about the lack of boobage?

  2. Noelle says:

    i love vegas! except for the MGM buffet. ick. we went there once and never again! i'm so glad i read about the lame topless show because i've been wanting to go to one of those for years…just to see some “old” vegas and now i know not to waste my money!

    sounds like you had a great time! i hope you do it again soon!

  3. Ms. Diva says:

    Isn't the saying it's the thought that counts?

  4. LMJ says:

    I've in that bar. We stayed at the New York New York last time we went to Vegas and loved it!! I love the food!!! I love the shows.
    I”m surprised there are still some “unciliconed” boobs left in Vegas.

  5. NaVe says:

    I litterally LOL reading this. Several times. DH peaked his head around the corner where he's cleaning his version of the bat cage cuz I was hysterically loud at times. :) thanks!

  6. Busted Kate says:

    Noelle: You couldn't even go to this show anymore if you wanted to! They shut it down last year, and now they film the “Let's Make A Deal” game show there. I'd like to sigh and say it's the loss of a Vegas tradition… but it sucked and I'm glad its gone. But I think the Bally's show is still around….?

    LMJ: I was suprised too!

  7. Erin says:

    I'm so excited for your bloggy meetup tomorrow–let us know how it goes.

    I've never been to Vegas, but I suppose I'll have to suck it up and go someday…hmmmm…..

  8. Tracie says:

    At least it wasn't topless grannies dancing for the old men.

    Have a great weekend!

  9. Michelle says:

    Sounds like you have a fun weekend planned. The trip to the topless show sounds like something that would totally happen to me.LOL

  10. Kelly says:

    Sounds like a fun time and hey, it wasn't what you planned but it still made you laugh! :)

    I've never been to Vegas. It's on my to-do list!

  11. Vegas is definitely on one of my “must go” places list. Have a great weekend!

  12. Momma Fargo says:

    LOL. Vegas…such timeless fun…or maybe they were stuck in a time capsule!

  13. Nancy C says:

    We saw Blue Man Group and LOVED it. We also say the drag show “La Cage” and partied with “Dionne Warwick” after the fact. True story. :)

  14. gayle says:

    Can't wait to hear all about you visit!! Been to Vegas once and love it!!

  15. Man, I have *never* been to Vegas. The promise of good food and questionable naked talent makes me really wanna go tho…

  16. Priscilla says:

    Congrats Kate you won the painting contest!
    http://madhattress.com/blog/?p=139
    Email me at onesillykitty@gmail.com to let me know where to ship the painting and what you want!

  17. JennyMac says:

    How was the bloggy meet up?

    ANd that pic of the rascals at the pool = adorable!!!

  18. Raprunner says:

    Loved the Dueling Pianos bar when we went… this post was hilarious! Nice, Show and “tail” get it! maybe not…

  19. […] the poof I can get. Is it worse after kid #2? What am I looking at here – months? Years? Or off-strip Las Vegas showgirl, […]

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